As we mentioned, in order to do that you must legitimately have PTSD, be diagnosed and have an Accommodations Report prepared by a professional that is presented to The ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). From there, special accommodations are granted. The range and what the accommodations are were listed in last weeks newsletter.
Some people hesitate in getting diagnosed with PTSD because they are afraid of it's implication to them, their functioning level, or related to a mental illness diagnosis.
First of all, PTSD is a trauma disorder. If you are diagnosed with it, it already implies you have been traumatized. You are going to court regarding your traumatized relationship so it fits and it supports your argument in court as well as the symptoms that have arisen because of this relationship. If he was traumatic to be with, we need to say so.
If we want the court to understand pathology, we need to teach them through our own experiences and relationships especially if we want the court to change.
Secondly, PTSD does not necessarily have the type of stigma you fear. Our vets that come home from war often, and more often than not, have PTSD. Fighting for our country is honorable -- they were doing a good thing and yet were damaged from their experience. The same is true for you.
One of our presidential candidates has PTSD. We may very well elect someone with ongoing PTSD into the White House.
Firefighters and law enforcement who bravely saved many in 911 have PTSD. Missionarys helping the poor in other countries have PTSD. Social Workers working in dangerous situations have PTSD.
I have PTSD. I have lived for 25 years with it. I openly discuss having the disorder -- through no fault of my own. I got PTSD from seeing my father's murder scene. I have worked with others that have PTSD now for 20 years. And because I am a survivor, I live with the effects of chronic PTSD daily. I know how it has changed me, my life, my abilities, my health and my endurance. I have seen it in hundreds of others, how it has effected their lives -- sometimes long term.
If you have it, say it. Nothing starts healing until we acknowledge it. It is what it is. Some worry that they will be labeled with mental illness if the court acknowledges their PTSD.
Well, let's think about that... do you think a pathological is going to go into court and NOT say you are crazy? You don't think he will argue every point of your illness, behavior, or symptoms (whether they are true or not) in order to win? You don't think he's GOING to use some kind of emotional disorder argument? OF COURSE HE IS -- that's what pathologicals DO!! So, in order to prevent being labeled something far worse than PTSD, if you have PTSD, let IT be the label instead of something else that can greatly impair your ability to get rehabilitative alimony, custody of your children, etc.
Having a PTSD diagnosis before court can greatly help HOW FAR the pathological can go in trying to make you look mentally ill. PTSD is NOT mental illness. Having a PTSD diagnosis may help prevent them from labeling you mentally ill with other more debilitating types of mental illness.
So don't shun the PTSD diagnosis if you have it. It may prevent you from being labeled something far worse.
Here is a chart from Bully Online that differientiates between PTSD and mental illness in case you were wondering what the differences are...
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Differences between mental illness and psychiatric injury
The person who is being bullied will eventually say something like "I think I'm being paranoid..."; however they are correctly identifying hypervigilance, a symptom of PTSD, but using the popular but misunderstood word paranoia. The differences between hypervigilance and paranoia make a good starting point for identifying the differences between mental illness and psychiatric injury.
- paranoia tends to endure and to not get better of its own accord
- the paranoiac will not admit to feeling paranoid, as they cannot see their paranoia
- sometimes responds to drug treatment
- the paranoiac often has delusions of grandeur; the delusional aspects of paranoia feature in other forms of paranoia is a form of mental illness; the cause is thought to be internal, eg - a minor variation in the balance of brain chemistry
- mental illness, such as schizophrenia
- the paranoiac is convinced of their self-importance
- paranoia is often seen in conjunction with other symptoms of mental illness, but not in conjunction with symptoms of PTSD
- the paranoiac is convinced of their plausibility
- the paranoiac feels persecuted by a person or persons unknown (eg "they're out to get me")
- sense of persecution
- the sense of persecution felt by the paranoiac is a delusion, for usually no-one is out to get them
- the paranoiac is on constant alert because they know someone is out to get them
- the paranoiac is certain of their belief and their behaviour and expects others to share that certainty
Hypervigilance
- is a response to an external event (violence, accident, disaster, violation, intrusion, bullying, etc) and therefore an injury
- wears off (gets better), albeit slowly, when the person is out of and away from the situation which was the cause
- the hypervigilant person is acutely aware of their hypervigilance, and will easily articulate their fear, albeit using the incorrect but popularised word "paranoia"
- drugs are not viewed favourably by hypervigilant people, except in extreme circumstances, and then only briefly; often drugs have no effect, or can make things worse, sometimes interfering with the body's own healing process
- the hypervigilant person often has a diminished sense of self-worth, sometimes dramatically so
- the hypervigilant person is often convinced of their worthlessness and will often deny their value to others
- hypervigilance is seen in conjunction with other symptoms of PTSD, but not in conjunction with symptoms of mental illness
- the hypervigilant person is aware of how implausible their experience sounds and often doesn't want to believe it themselves (disbelief and denial)
- the hypervigilant person is hypersensitized but is often aware of the inappropriateness of their heightened sensitivity, and can identify the person responsible for their psychiatric injury
- heightened sense of vulnerability to victimisation
- the hypervigilant person's sense of threat is well-founded, the hypervigilant person often cannot (and refuses to) see that the pathological is doing everything possible to get rid of them
- the hypervigilant person is on alert in case there is danger
- the hypervigilant person cannot bring themselves to believe that the pathological bully cannot and will not see the effect their behaviour is having; they cling naively to the mistaken belief that the pathological will recognise their wrongdoing and apologise
Other differences between mental illness and psychiatric injury include:
Mental illness
- the cause often cannot be identified
- the person may be incoherent or what they say doesn't make sense
- the person may appear to be obsessed
- the person is oblivious to their behaviour and the effect it has on others
- the depression is a clinical or endogenous depression
- there may be a history of depression in the family
- the person has usually exhibited mental health problems before
- may respond inappropriately to the needs and concerns of others
- displays a certitude about themselves, their circumstances and their actions
- may suffer a persecution complex
- suicidal thoughts are the result of despair, dejection and hopelessness
- exhibits despair
- often doesn't look forward to each new day
- is often ready to give in or admit defeat
Psychiatric injury
- the cause is easily identifiable and verifiable, but denied by those who are accountable
- the person is often articulate but prevented from articulation by being traumatized
- the person is obsessive, especially in relation to identifying the cause of their injury and both dealing with the cause and effecting their recovery
- the person is in a state of acute self-awareness and aware of their state, but often unable to explain it
- the depression is reactive; the chemistry is different to endogenous depression
- there is very often no history of depression in the individual or their family
- often there is no history of mental health problems
- responds empathically to the needs and concerns of others, despite their own injury
- is often highly sceptical about their condition and circumstances and is in a state of disbelief and bewilderment which they will easily and often articulate ("I can't believe this is happening to me" and "Why me?" - click here for the answer)
- may experience an unusually heightened sense of vulnerability to possible victimization (ie hypervigilance)
- suicidal thoughts are often a logical and carefully thought-out solution or conclusion
- is driven by the anger of injustice
- looks forward to each new day as an opportunity to fight for justice
- refuses to be beaten, refuses to give up
- Fatigue with symptoms of or similar to Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (formerly ME)
- An anger of injustice stimulated to an excessive degree (sometimes but improperly attracting the words "manic" instead of motivated, "obsessive" instead of focused, and "angry" instead of "passionate", especially from those with something to fear)
- An overwhelming desire for acknowledgement, understanding, recognition and validation of their experience
- A simultaneous and paradoxical unwillingness to talk about the abuse (click here to see why) or here (click here to see why)
- A lack of desire for revenge, but a strong motivation for justice
- A tendency to oscillate between conciliation (forgiveness) and anger (revenge) with objectivity being the main casualty
- Extreme fragility, where formerly the person was of a strong, stable character
- Numbness, both physical (toes, fingertips, and lips) and emotional (inability to feel love and joy)
- Clumsiness
- Forgetfulness
- Hyper-awareness and an acute sense of time passing, seasons changing, and distances traveled
- An enhanced environmental awareness, often on a planetary scale
- An appreciation of the need to adopt a healthier diet, possibly reducing or eliminating meat - especially red meat
- Willingness to try complementary medicine and alternative, holistic therapies, etc
- A constant feeling that one has to justify everything one says and does
- A constant need to prove oneself, even when surrounded by good, positive people
- An unusually strong sense of vulnerability, victimization or possible victimization, often wrongly diagnosed as "persecution"
- Occasional violent intrusive visualizations
- Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, a sense of being unwanted, unlikeable and unlovable
- A feeling of being small, insignificant, and invisible
- An overwhelming sense of betrayal, and a consequent inability and unwillingness to trust anyone, even those close to you
- In contrast to the chronic fatigue symptoms, depression etc., occasional false dawns with sudden bursts of energy accompanied by a feeling of "I'm better!", only to be followed by a full resurgence of symptoms a day or two later
- Excessive guilt - when the cause of PTSD is bullying, the guilt expresses itself in forms distinct from "survivor guilt"; it comes out as:
- an initial reluctance to take action against the pathological and report him/her knowing that he/she could lose his/her job or otherwise have consequences
- later, this reluctance gives way to a strong urge to take action against the pathological so that others, especially successors in the relationship, don't have to suffer a similar fate
- reluctance to feel happiness and joy because one's sense of other people's suffering throughout the world is heightened
- a proneness to identifying with other people's suffering
- a heightened sense of unworthiness, undeservingness and non-entitlement (some might call this shame)
- a heightened sense of indebtedness, beholdenness and undue obligation
- a reluctance to earn or accept money because one's sense of poverty and injustice throughout the world is heightened
- an unwillingness to take ill-health retirement because the person doesn't want to believe they are sufficiently unwell to merit it
- an unwillingness to draw sickness, incapacity or unemployment benefit to which the person is entitled
- a desire to help others, often overwhelming and bordering on obsession, and to be available for others at any time regardless of the cost to oneself
- an unusually high inclination to feel sorry for other people who are under stress or are pathological,
Fatigue
The fatigue is understandable when you realize that in pathology, the target's fight or flight mechanism eventually becomes activated. The fight or flight mechanism is designed to be operational only briefly and intermittently; in the heightened state of alert, the body consumes abnormally high levels of energy. If this state becomes semi-permanent, the body's physical, mental and emotional batteries are drained dry. Whilst the weekend theoretically is a time for the batteries to recharge, this doesn't happen, because:
- the person is by now obsessed with the situation (or rather, resolving the situation), cannot switch off, may be unable to sleep, and probably has nightmares, flashbacks and replays;
- sleep is non-restorative and unrefreshing - one goes to sleep tired and wakes up tired
- this type of experience plays havoc with the immune system; when the fight or flight system is eventually switched off, the immune system is impaired such that the person is open to viruses which they would under normal circumstances fight off; the person then spends each weekend with a cold, cough, flu, glandular fever, laryngitis, ear infection etc so the body's batteries never have an opportunity to recharge.
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Next week, we will look at the medical conditions often associated with PTSD that your attorney can argue in your case.
"How Can I Help the Institute?"
Every week we have people emailing asking how they can be part of The Institute.
There are big and small things that people can do to get involved.
Small things include:
- Write a review on Amazon for the books and products
- Become a Media Volunteer in your area (more info in the newsletter about this current need)
- Develop your own website about pathology
- Donate a book or our audios or dvds to your library or domestic violence shelter
Bigger things include:
- Become involved in Legal Advocacy in your area
- Be a public speaker using our power points about pathology and give lectures or workshops
- Start a Dangerous Man Support Group
But do you know... when I check back almost NONE of the people who have contacted us to do something have done ANYTHING at all! I hear "I am so passionate about pathology now that I understand it" and when I recontact them because they haven't followed through... that passion has gone... where??
Pathology is increasing! Those of us who are psychopathologists are CONCERNED about how much MORE prevalent pathology is now than even a decade ago. I fear if we don't do 'Each one, Teach One' that our children and grandchildren will be CHALLENGED to find a healthy partner out in the stream of pathology.
Really, the effort to reach out is a small investment in the mental health of this planet. Below in the newsletter are some ways you can become involved. The Institute is planning our FIRST conference for everyone in 2009! Come be part....
Become a Volunteer Active in Helping Other Women in Court
We are strongly moving in the direction of legal advocacy because pathological parents who get custody produce more pathology in the next generation and this MUST stop. We need volunteers in every community who are interested in helping regarding the following:
** Please if you are an attorney, offer to read over our Accommodations Report and give us some input!! If you are willing to become involved in ADA Accommdations, let us know so we can put your name on our Legal Referral List we are developing!If we are going to impact the legal system, we need people to jump on board with this. There is NO WAY for us to do this alone. I simply don't have time but the need is huge and we can at least begin this process of balancing the scales in this way. PLEASE be pro active and not a victim to this sytem. Get involved!
** If you had a GREAT attorney, please send us their name and phone number for our list.
** If you have had a GREAT Court Evaluator for your children regarding custody, please send us their name and phone number.
** If you have had a GREAT court psychologist, please send us their name and phone number.
** If you have had a GREAT family court judge, please send us their name and phone number.
** If you would like to be a volunteer involved in helping women in family court find out about how to use the PTSD/ ADA Accommodations, please contact us.
** If you would like to be a volunteer involved in sitting with women in family court so they are not alone, please contact us.
** If you would like to be a volunteer involved in setting up a court website in your area about family court violations and using PTSD/ADA Accommdations, please contact us.
** If you are a Grant Writer and would be willing to write a grant for us regarding Legal Advocacy Funding, please contact us.
** If you have been a court advocate and would like to help us develop a Court Coaching Program, please contact us.
** If you would like to be a volunteer Court Watch Observer about which judges are consistently making bad calls in family court, please contact us.
** If you are a licensed mental health professional with training in PTSD and would like to write PTSD Accommodations Reports please contact us.
** If you are a licensed Ph.D. or an M.D. and would like to write one page diagnostic letters following interviews in person or by webcam, please contact us.
THE INSTITUTE 2009 CONFERENCE
Our FIRST EVER conference is being planned in 2009--here's some ideas we got going:
- Therapists: Get The Institute's training on pathology so you can offer it in your practice
- Legal Advocacy: How to get started bringing attention in your area to the family court system who keeps handing over custody to pathological parents
- How to Start a Dangerous Man Program in your area: Whether you want to do public speaking as education, run a Dangerous Man support group, start a program for teens, or go into churches, or go all out and start a Non Profit Center -- we can help you see how to build a program in your area
- Build a Career in Pathology: Those with credentials, come find out how others have built a pretty good professional career!
- Web Education: Learn how to do internet marketing with pathology to educate others -- you can even use it to build an income if you're good at using the internet.
- Brain Storming: Help us grow The Institute with the types of products and services needed to help the culture understand psychopathology!! Be part of the solution by bringing your imagination and vision to this issue of pathology.
- Support Services: Come get an emotional tune up at some of the workshops we will be offering!
Removing Victimhood
In addition, we now have Self Help DVD's -- if you can't afford ongoing counseling, here's an affordable alternative to staying depressed and having aftermath symptoms.
If you have intrusive thoughts and obsessions, we created a low cost alternative to constant hypnosis and EMDR fees by developing a hypnosis CD!
We have 7 hours of CDs that can really help you understand pathology for less than ONE counseling session fee.
Our telephone counselors are much cheaper -- only a FRACTION of what in-person counselors charge.
Our 1:1 sessions are an unbelievable value compared to inpatient treatment.
And at the very least, our books are insight-packed totally affordable alternatives for anyone who needs help now.
We have expanded our products in every direction trying to provide affordable-to-most help for women.
I do get a little frustrated when women write about staying 'stuck in their victmization' simply because they aren't taking the next proactive step of doing SOMETHING with ANYTHING we offer -- there just isn't a reason any more to be stuck.
I get realllyyyy looonggg emails from women about how they can't recover, etc. and when I ask if they have read a book, listened to a CD, called a phone counselor, watched a DVD the answer is always NO. There's no magic here ladies -- recovery IS WORK.
The depression doesn't go away by itself, nor does the anxiety, the intrusive thoughts, the obsessional thinking, the hopelessness. You have to DO something in order to GET something different going on in your recovery.
I know... I know.... I'm mean. One client years ago made a sign that they stuck on my counseling door that said "Sandy's Butt Kick Boot Camp." But you know what, I had more people recovering than most counselors because I just don't take the excuses for 'why' people don't get well. I overcame the blood of my father's murder... I know that people can overcome PTSD and get a better life. Will YOU, is the question??
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PRE-ORDERS FOR THE DVDs!!
I filmed 3 different DVD's and let me tell you what they are so you can see which ones can help you the most!
DVD 1: Recogninzing Destruction and Pathological Relationships (2-2.5 hours long).
This is the CORE training on pathology so anyone who needs to understand what psychopathology is and how it has effected someone else needs to watch this DVD. This is the core information I teach every single time that I speak.
Also, the 2nd half goes into the 'pathological types' so that you can see if his symptoms match up to the more well-known pathological personality types. It lists signs and symptoms of the different types.
This is the foundational teaching so everyone should have this one. Also, this is the foundational teaching I do for community workshops so if you want to show this DVD you could in your own community, school, women's agency, or Dangerous Man support group. I suspect this will be BOTH a core foundational training DVD for everyone on pathology AND a community workshop DVD for agencies.
DVD2: Healing the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships: Help for Wounded Women.
PLUS PLUS PLUS I added some great self help exercises right in there for intrusive thoughts, obsessions, cognitive dissonance/conflict with how you see him, mindfulness skills for battling cognitive problems, and MORE! (Couple this with the new Hypnosis CD for a blast through recovery!!)
This picks UP where DVD 1 stops and now moves INTO the pathological relationship dynamics, the women's Super Traits and how it contributed to her tolerance of and attraction to pathological men, AND lots of healing information regarding working with your own emotional, physical and spiritual recovery -- exercises and steps to use every step of the way. Lots of great info on managing your PTSD symptoms and other stress reactions. CHOCKED FULL of info--I had to talk really fast to get it all in!! 2.5 hours (I
believe...)
DVD3: TREATING the Aftermath of Pathological Love Relationships: What Every Counselor Needs To Know About Pathology and It's Effects on Relational Health (Almost 3 hours long)
This picks up also where DVD 2 left off and moves INTO the treatment issues associated with what YOU need in order to heal. Buy it for your COUNSELOR for God sakes!! If they don't get it after watching DVD 2 and DVD 3, you need to change counselors!! This is an indepth teaching for mental health professionals on the structural deficits of personality disorders, how it effects life time development and what that looks like in the essence of relationships. There is specific treatment issues, recovery focuses, and references to
other materials of our that will help them establish a firm and comprehensive treatment approach.
Ok, so that's the deal.
The DVD's now have to go to the duplication company so I am taking Pre Orders on them now. Once they return and 'officially' get put on the shopping cart (they aren't on there yet), they will go to their normal price of $69.95 each. Right now, to the Dangerous Liaisons mailing list, they are $55 each OR all 3 of them for $150. Let's look at how you can use these:
DVD 1: you can use watch and digest everything there is to know about pathology. Then why not donate this DVD to a women's organization that can show it over and over again? If you are going into coaching, keep it -- you'll need it. Or if you are running a Dangerous Man Support group, use it there!
DVD 2: this is your own personal SELF HELP DVD that will help you focus on your own recovery. If you don't have a therapist, this will guide you thru the process. If you DO, you watch then they should watch it too. And surely you have other girlfriends who need to see it also!
DVD 3: this is for any professional that you wish would 'GET IT' about the issues of narcissists, sociopaths or psychopaths. Heck, give it to your attorney so THEY GET it about the permanance of pathology. If you're a coach, this might be a little technical but not that bad that you won't get A LOT of info out of how to work with others from this DVD. Give it to a social work that is deciding vistation in your case!
Packaged together -- this is almsot a whole college course on pathology!! This about 7-8 HOURS worth of training. I just talked 'til I told you everything I could think of!! LOL~
So, again $55 each OR $150 for all 3. When they come back they will be $69.95 or all 3 for $200. So get the discount while you can.
To order these at the special price (they aren't on the shopping cart), follow these instructions:
http://www.paypal.com/
> Click Send Money
> Type in the amount of $$ you are sending
> Type in our email addy: sandrabrownma@yahoo.com
> Comment Section write either DVD1, DVD2, DVD3 or ALL DVDS and put your shipping address in there!
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SELLING OUR DVD's
Do you have a website and would like to be an affiliate sales person for our DVD's and Hypnosis CD and receive income for your sales?
We are establishing an affiliate sales program that will keep track of your sales and automatically pay you on anything that is sold of ours from your site. It's that simple! Then we ship it and you touch absolutely nothing except the cash!!
IF you are interested in getting the word out about pathology, do consider how our products can 'monetize' your site! This includes all 3 dvds, our hypnosis CD, our customized CD's and coming soon some other Ebook products. Just email us and we'll get info to you about the affiliate program.
THANKS for passing it forward!
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NEW HYPNOSIS CD
Stop the intrusive thoughts and obsessions. I'm really happy with how the hypnosis CD turned out. In fact, I can't even listen to it without going under!! I just can't!!
It's now on the shopping cart. Here's a few tips: For the best outcomes:
Use it several times a week, nightly is preferred. Go to sleep with it!! DONT use it in the car while you are driving or at work!!
For a 'whopping' $40, you can have a hypnosis session every single night! 'Wash that man right out of your hair!!''
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CUSTOMIZED HYPNOSIS CD
For those who feel like they need a little more tweaked session, order our custom made hypnosis CD which includes your personal information like HIS NAME, your specific symptoms (checked off from a check list we email you), and any of your specific and personal triggers. It's now on the shopping cart.
I can only do these in the month of August and can only do 'x' amount because of the length of time it takes to do them. Get one while I can do it
Be specific about what you are asking so we don't have to return an email to get information. MOST information is on our website, in our weekly newsletter and/or on our blog but people just email us for information they could easily find for themselves. THANK YOU for taking a moment to search before emailing.
If you are requesting a 1:1 please check the calendar on the website yourself and NOT ask us what dates are available since they are listed on there. Then contact us when you are READY to book it. We will email you a registration form -- fill it out, send your payment and your airline itinerary. No need to email us multiple times telling us flights you are going to check, are checking, etc. JUST SEND US what you finally book. Airport information is in your 1:1 guideline packet. Please don't email us about where to fly in etc. -- your options are listed in your guideline packet.
Also, we keep getting people who call the office to tell someone their Dangerous Man story by phone. If you would like to submit your story for the website or future books, do so at http://www.blogger.com/howtospot@yahoo.com or if you want counseling regarding your story contact one of our phone counselors.
We are facing critical mass here and may have to cut back on what we provide because of the sheer volume of emails and contacts we get. Thank you for helping us streamline the process and saving our brain cells!
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DANGEROUS MAN WORKSHOP CRUISE
I think there is close to 15 of us cruising with the other coaches to Cozumel Mexico from Tampa, FL!! I think we can still get rooms if anyone just HAS to go! I think it will be fabulous!!
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OUR NEW THEME SONG
Go to our website http://www.saferelationships.com/ and underneath the "Eye" logo is a click on button for our new theme song.
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Just Where Are WE?
U.S., Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, Wales, Scotland, Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Korea, India, Budapest, Thailand, New Zealand, Australia, South Africa, Mexico, France, Spain, Costa Rica...
If you have some of our products and live else where! Let us know... we're tracking how far our reach is!
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We are looking for a volunteer that will watch American's Most Wanted every week to get names of women we can send our psychopaths books too. We would also like the Media Volunteer to scour the online news to find other women who could use our books that we will send to them for free. This is part of our Public Psychopathy Outreach. Last week, we mailed books to Christie Brinkley.
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America's Most Wanted
Ever watch that show? I watch it all the time because I never know when you will tell me about your Dangerous Man that you kicked to the curb a long time ago and his face will actually be on American's Most Wanted. Do the rest of the female population a favor and watch it every Saturday night.
It's a humanitarian act to be on the look out for predators we can turn in.
Most women never think their guy would be on AMW even though he was terribly pathological. Some don't think he would ever be in international data bases like Womansavers or other similar websites. Look him up and stay on the look out for who and what he's doing. These guys don't change their colors -- they just find new victims. Be vigilant and help AMW if you ever see someone you know.
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Private Retreat 1:1 in NC with Sandy
So, groups of women in retreats except for professional therapists. HOWEVER, I am still offering Healing the Aftermath on a 1:1 basis. We have just finished up a beautiful one bedroom cabin with a MILLION DOLLAR view of the Blue Ridge Mountains for you to stay in. You can see the pics on our site http://www.saferelationships.com/ and click on 1:1s to see the cabin and our St. Francis Meditation Garden.
SORRY -- JULY is completely sold old! And so is two weeks in August, two weeks in October and one week in November due to the Cruise and traveling time are already gone and the entire month of December is closed.
So what we have is a total of about 9 weeks of openings -- and that's IT.
Private Retreat 1:1s means you are the only person here and we work solely on your case, symptoms, and situation. There is a combination of 3 hours of therapy a day AND plenty of rest and relaxation time.
Join us for sunset every night as we face Southwest and have fabulous sunsets. Hike the trails around the cabin, enjoy the national forest here, etc. Price is $195 per day for accommodations, airport pick up/drop off, and 3 hours of counseling per day. Email us and request an application. The therapy program is designed for a minimum of a 4 day stay to get thru the material and more if you want more intensive work.
** Due to Sandy's PTSD/Adrenal Fatigue, she is looking at having others run the treatment segment in 2009. **
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WHY RETREATS DECREASE THE AMOUNT OF TIME IT TAKES TO HEAL
A 4 day treatment cycle is the equivalent of 3-4 months worth of counseling! This is based on if you were to do the normal types of outpatient counseling where you live which is one hour a week. It could take you 3 or 4 months to learn and process what you can do here in a short amount of time... and that's IF you could find a therapist trained in this.
Lastly, I have stopped doing phone counseling because of my writing/ researching/ and work schedule.
But there are so many women who need help! Using the private retreat cycles is a great way to get help FAST and get functioning FAST. It's also cheaper in the long run than weekly therapy.
Do consider how our private treatment cycles can help you regain everything he has taken -- alot sooner!!
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WE HAVE NEW THERAPISTS AVAILABLE AND ON OUR SITE!
We have just added more therapists available for phone counseling, consults, in person counseling and workshops on our site! Welcome Aboard:
- Sallie from Houston, TX (our little Dynamo I have been talking about!!)
- Beth from Charlotte, NC (who may join us on our Cruise--come meet her!!)- and Lorrie, from South Florida/Miami!!
Remember, pay them directly. Do not go thru our paypal system.
Utilize these bright and talented counselors!
One of our counselors Carol just wrote me to tell me her Dangerous Man Support group is doing GREAT! They have pizza or Subway sandwiches and then jump right into the material. She said it's been a great way to bridge people into the program! THANKS for a great idea Carol.
** All counselors charge for their services.
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Laurie Crosbie, our THERAPIST IN THE U.K.!
Laurie Crosbie is up and running and ready to work with the ladies in the U.K. She is located there as well and is offering phone and Instant Messaging coaching!
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WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS BOOK
Here's what some have said about the book:
Debbie said " Received your book Monday and read it in one night! It completely hits my one-year- relationship-in-hell on the head! Two years out I'm still processing, but after your book, there's nothing that can explain it more clearly!"
Sue, a therapist, said "Well your new book is amazing! I think you know that. It left me raw. Which is not a bad thing at all. Yes I had several "light bulbs." Again, I wish I had it 20 years ago. THANKS so much to you and Liane for this ground breaking work that will help so many. I have made it a required reading for my interns. My daughter and I are discussing it and she is going to read it. It's wonderful to have your work to share with her a give her the tools she needs at a younger age. I am very grateful."
Rebecca said "WOW, wow and wow! Your description of the women fit me like a glove!"
** Please, if you have finished your book, email us with your thoughts. We would love your feedback. **
If you want to understand some of these 'super-traits' you have and what they have been doing in your relationships, check out the book.
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Help Us Out With the Psychopaths Book!People are always asking me... 'What can I do to help The Institute?' Well, here it is! This is the kind of stuff that is really helpful to us!!
Here's what we need. We need people to contact their libraries and ask them to order a copy. Libraries are great resources for women in need and the Dangerous Man book was picked up by thousands of libraries simply because a few people started requesting it. So do request it at your local library. It just might save someone else's life!
We also need people to request the book through Barnes & Noble. You don't have to buy it. They will order it if you request it and reshelve it if you don't pick it up. In order for us to be 'allowed in' to Barnes and Noble, we have to create demand.
There was enough demand at Amazon to be picked up! Thanks to all of you who ordered through them. If you are done reading the book no matter where you bought it from, would you mind going to Amazon and writing a review about the book. Email me and let me know you did it and I"ll send you a free copy of our ebook 'Signs of a Bad Dating Choice' just for doing that for us!
** AMAZON UPDATE: The second month out Amazon doubled their order from us! THANKS for all you do to help us with things like this! Please write a review!!
And it looks like there was some request through Target as the book is now listed on their site!
** Update, we had a good month at Amazon. Our sales each month continue to rise!! THANKS!
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Write-2-Heal
**I really want to encourage you to contact Karen and get involved with this writing program. I can't tell you how healing it is to write about your experience even if you do nothing else but get it on paper. But you never know! It might motivate you to get it published or teach other women to use therapeutic writing to heal from.
We have a new writing program that will help you tell your story! Write it because it helps you heal, write it to help others, write to publish, write just for yourself... but WRITE IT!
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On the Shopping Cart!
The Crash Course Box is most of our books, our CD Collection and now our new powerpoints! It's a great tool for women's organizations, agencies, people who plan on coaching others, and therapist's. It quickly gives you everything you need to launch a Dangerous Relationship Program in your area!Drop by the book store at http://www.saferelationships.com/Books.html and click on Print Books to take a look at what's in the Crash Course Box -- a great mixture of print books, ebooks, CD's and powerpoints!
(P.S. We just added the Women Who Love Psychopaths to the Crash Course Box!! An even better value now!)
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ALSO on the Shopping Cart!
- Use them to give lectures and presentations in your community. Use them for Public Psychopathy Education.
- Use them to give workshops in your community for schools, colleges, women's organizations, rape and domestic violence programs, for Domestic Violence Awareness Month (October).
- Use them in Dangerous Relationship Support Group. Break up the content and use it weekly during group.
- Use it if you teach at a high school or college. Great psycho-educational material!
We ALSO have a Christian version which is the general community powerpoint PLUS a whole segment on what Scripture says about pathology, abuse, marriage, and leaving abusive relationships.
Great for women's ministries, youth ministry, women's bible studies, or even Pastoral trainings for clergy.
Each 2.5 hour powerpoint is self contained as a workshop or lecture. Each follows the Dangerous Relationship concepts making the book and workbook sales easy for you. The general community powerpoint also includes some of the information about women's traits that is listed in the new book 'Women Who Love Psychopaths.' The powerpoints make is easy for you to be a voice in your community about pathology.
Each 2.5 hour powerpoint is between 115-124 slides long!
Easy to use and easy to follow. $65.00 each OR $100 for both.
Now on the shopping carts!
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Don't Just SIT There, Get Well!
I don't know what else we can do to get you UP and healing! We have created every kind of program known to man to help you get the help you need in the way you want to receive it. Now come on!
- No counselors in your area? Ok. Use ours with phone counseling.
- Don't like one-on-one counseling. Sure we understand. We offer tele-conferencing groups.
- OOhhh... you don't like PHONE counseling period? Sure. We have small groups in many locations across the U.S. OR you can start one! The best way to get what you need is to DO IT yourself by starting a Dangerous Man Group in your community.
- Rather get it 'all done' at once? No problem. We offer retreats every single month from April until November.
- Can't afford to travel? Use our books, e-books, and CD collection which covers everything Sandy has ever discussed.
- You'd rather meet Sandy in person? OK. Book a 1:1 with her in N.C. and work intensely for a couple of days.
- Not sure ANY of this applies to you and you'd just like to learn more? Go to one of our workshops.
How to Find Help in Your Own Area
Find a counselor that is trained in one of the following (these are all terms that related to similar disorders):
* Abnormal Psychology
* Axis II Disorders
* Personality Disorders
* Psychopathology
* Forensic Psychology
Call and ask -- that's the only are that's the only way to find someone. These are the people most likely to understand the symptoms of the pathological men you have been with.
If you don't have insurance or the ability to pay then you are limited to community mental health services, churches, or therapists willing to take a sliding scale fee -- some will -- ask around!
Also you can consider your local women's organizations or domestic violence programs.
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Video on Psychopaths At Large
49 mins-- Very informative
http://www.stumbleupon.com/demo/?review=1#url=http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-823054058647438214
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Court Watch Program
Want to find out how to hold judges accountable for decisions that benefit
pathologicals?
http://www.factscourtwatch.org/
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"I believe that what it is I have been called to do will make itself known when I have made myself ready." (J. Phillips)
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SUPPORTIVE INTERVENTION SERVICES
For those moving to the next level of acceptance and reality...
**Book, e-books, and audio products on psychopathology and relationships
** Self Help DVD's for Women in Pathological Relationships
** Training DVD for Therapists
** Public Psychopathy DVD for Community Presentations
** Power point Presentations
** Personalized one-on-one phone counseling
** Tele-conferencing Support Groups
** In person Support Groups in various cities across the U.S.
** Conferences & Workshops on Pathological Love Relationships
** Intensive One-on-One Counseling in NC with Sandy
** Consultations with other therapists
We've eliminated the reason to stay stuck...
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WHERE TO FIND STUFF:
Click on these links for information.
Please DON'T write us for information that is in the newsletters or on the websites.
To purchase Books, Products, E-books, Audios/CD's:
http://www.saferelationships.com/Books.html
To purchase One-On-One's with Sandy in NC:
http://www.saferelationships.com/treatment_center.htm
To book Phone Counseling With OTHER Counselors
(Sandy is not taking phone clients right now)
http://www.saferelationships.com/therapistrefer.htm
To fill out the Women Who Love Psychopaths Research Survey:
http://www.womenwholovepsychopaths.com/survey.htm
To order the Women Who Love Psychopaths new book or buy it in e-book format:
http://www.saferelationships.com/Books.html
To read past issues of the newsletters:
http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com/
To get another newsletter resent to you:
WE DON'T OFFER THIS -- adjust your spam settings
To get information on how to start a Dangerous Man group, download it here:
www.saferelationships.com/resources
To get an application for The Path to Recovery, download it here:
http://www.saferelationships.com/resources
We have our own online support forum! Drop by at:
http://howtospotadangerousman.com/public_html/index.php
Want to see the kinds of things that are discussed in the Women Who Love Psychopaths Book?
Read our Introduction for free -- right here! CLICK BELOW!
http://saferelationships.com/INTRODUCTION.htm
ORDER NOW!
www.saferelationships.com/Books.html
"Woman Who Love Psychopaths" is one of the most validating and vital books on the nature of pathological relationships in years. It's a MUST READ for every woman in any sort of relationship or looking for one! And pass it on to your friends & daughters! It may save a life!
Based on solid research, it vividly illustrates how all your good qualities can and WILL be used against you by pathologicals. One particular chapter, 'Trance, Hypnosis & Women's Suggestability' should be required reading for every woman breathing!It's shockingly insightful and stunning in its validation of what women in these types of relationships go through... as well as explaining why you can't and don't "just get over it." Run ladies, don't walk - and get this book for yourself and every woman you care about. - Barbara, Manager - Sanctuary for the Abused.
The Dangerous Relationship Institute is a research-based program. Our current research project headed up by Dr. Leedom is 'Women Who Love Psychopaths.' This is the first of it's kind research project to study the women who have been in relationships with psychopaths. This informational survey will help lead the way in prevention and intervention with at-risk women. The results so far have been FASCINATING. We have extended the survey deadline so if you want to be involved take the survey here:
http://www.womenwholovepsychopaths.com/survey.htm
2008 we will be researching what treatment approaches are effective with women who have loved psychopaths.
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EDUCATIONAL WORKSHOPS & CONFERENCES
HEALING THE AFTERMATH OF WOMEN'S
PATHOLOGICAL LOVE RELATIONSHIPS CONFERENCE:
2.5 day conference available. Ask us how!
DANGEROUS MAN WORKSHOPS: 2.5 HOUR workshop available. Ask us how!
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PRINTED AND CYBER SPACE EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL
FREE E-BOOKLET: Our most recent educational material is 'How to Spot a Dangerous Shooter' written just after the V-Tech Shootings. Since our organization is a 'public psychopathy educational ' project' we strive to give free educational materials on the issue of dangerous symptoms.
Here is the free download link, please copy this link and email it to your address book. We WANT this report to be handed out freely:
http://www.HowToSpotADangerousMan.com/dangerousshooter.htm
THE INSTITUTE'S BLOG
Check out (and send your friends to) our blog! In fact, every week's newsletter is now put on the blog so you can read everything in one location.
http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com/
FINALLY -- OUR CD COLLECTION
You've asked for our audio series to be offered on physical CD's not just mp3's. OK... so we did it! We ve taken all 14 of our audios which represent 7 and half HOURS of discussion on the issue of pathology, dangerousness, signs and symptoms and your own recovery and put it on 7 CD's!
This multi-CD set is, of course, reasonably priced at $49.95! 5 CD's cover 7 1/2 HOURS of education and training. And we'll pay the postage!
Give it to a girlfriend that needs to 'get it' about the relationship she's in.
Use it in your own dangerous man support groups.
Give it as a B'day or Holiday gift
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CHECKLIST:
A leading issue in mental health in general is the ability to be calmly by yourself and geniunely enjoy your own presence. Being alone is NOT the same thing as being lonely.
Only you can create your life in such a way as to make fulfilling and head off your own loneliness. But you do have to PLAN your life and PLAN what to do ahead of time for loneliness. Of the hundreds of women we have helped, almost all of them have cited loneliness, boredom, or not having a life as a reason they went back OR started yet another unhealthy relationship. One of the first steps of recovery is to develop a full life for yourself. Nothing happens until that occurs.
Have a plan what to do if you get lonely so you don't do the disasterous "Drink & Dial!" Or you don't do the 'Daydream & Dial.' HE'S NOT DIFFERENT! Nothing has changed!
Learn to build a great life and avoid the risk factor of loneliness.
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TODAY take the first step and do something that moves you forward to the life you want to have. Let us know if we can help you with that first step!
"Above all things, be the heroine of your life and not the victim." -- Nora Ephron.
Sandy Brown, MA
Psychotherapist & Author
http://www.saferelationships.com/
http://www.womenwholovepsychopaths.com/
http://howtospotadangerousman.blogspot.com
